Patience is a Coconut

I’ll admit. I did not want to write this week’s devotional on patience. I wanted Kat to do it because she’s more patient, the one that’s slow to talk and keeps calm when a problem arises. So when the cards were dealt randomly, and I was the one who got the task to write about patience, I panicked and brought my fear to God. “Lord,” I asked, “how can I teach patience when I have yet to decipher how it works in my own life? I’m too young! I’m still IN the waiting process. I haven’t reached the destination. I can’t ‘live to tell the tale’. My testimony isn’t powerful.”

See, I have a chaotic life. I had dreams I wanted to see through to the end; they seem buried or dead, and for all I know, may never amount to a hill o’ beans, as Southern people say. My dreams may never come true. At this point, I don’t know.

Or maybe my dreams will happen, but not the way I thought. Perhaps I will simply influence others to have dreams and they will carry out “the beautiful life” while I am left to study, research, and philosophize.

Or maybe my dreams will only become reality after my lifetime is over. Like Picasso and Van Gogh, artists who become famous after their death, or Edgar Allan Poe who became famous post-mortem, too.

Maybe, right? I constantly find myself waiting for the “easy part” to get here. I wait for God to bless me with a stable job, friends, independence, customers, or could God have a chosen alternative? Just something! Anything! Don’t hold me in suspense. “Let thy will be done” is me relinquishing my will to him every day of my life in 2017, and yet, last year wasn’t any different, or any year that I can remember since I graduated high school, so how can I expect next year to change? Have I ever done anything, so far, that’s worthy of praise? Can anyone be proud of me?

There’s good news if you’re like me. This journey of questioning, wondering, and waiting is exactly how we learn how to be patient, the way the Holy Spirit intends us to! Sure, like me, you might know someone who exhibits outstanding qualities, and they appear calm and enduring, while meanwhile, you see yourself as hyper, anxious, or impulsive. It may seem like you can’t be patient, but…

God’s patience is for everyone. God’s patience isn’t the skill of twiddling your thumbs or the art of sitting still! It is the ability to trust God, even when your bully brain tells you He doesn’t care; you trust Him anyway. It is the plan to keep trying to do what is right even when your anger is ready to burst. It’s the idea that you will keep forgiving and loving someone who has already wronged you a bazillion times. When you never see an end to struggling, yet you keep praying for and loving people anyway, that’s patience.

You are a coconut and God is the hammer, the knife, and the hands that hold you, break you, shape you, and make you. You are the coconut that becomes a basket, broom, rope, sweet pie, healing lotion, clothing, shampoo, dangly earring, carpet, candy, or pina colada, or anything God wants you to be. You drop off the tree and roll into the sand, where the tide pulls you into the waves, and the waves take you all the way to new land, but only after days and days of bobbing. Then you might grow big into a palm tree, or maybe you are found by the hammer and cracked open and used as a tool or food or medicine. You do not know where your journey will take you, but never will your journey take you the same place as other coconuts. It may hurt, it might be long and tumultuous, but in the end, you will do mighty little things. You are a tiny bit extraordinary, and a very big part of God’s plan of salvation for everyone.

Patience is you, when you let God in.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:12-14

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Goodness is a Grape

Pure goodness is a cultivated grape.  Not the wild grapes which grow uncontrolled, with thick skins and lots of seeds, but the domestic grapes which are delicate and rich in flavor and juice.

Like the cluster of grapes carried back from the promised land to show the Israelites what to expect from God’s promise (Numbers 13: 23), our character is judged by the grapes of goodness that we cultivate in our lives. In John 15:1-8, Jesus compares us to the branches on a grapevine.  He says:

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts away every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, so that it will produce even more fruit. You are already clean because of what I have said to you.

Stay joined to me, and I will stay joined to you. Just as a branch cannot produce fruit unless it stays joined to the vine, you cannot produce fruit unless you stay joined to me. I am the vine, and you are the branches. If you stay joined to me, and I stay joined to you, then you will produce lots of fruit. But you cannot do anything without me. If you don’t stay joined to me, you will be thrown away . You will be like dry branches that are gathered up and burned in a fire.  Stay joined to me and let my teachings become part of you. Then you can pray for whatever you want, and your prayer will be answered. When you become fruitful disciples of mine, my Father will be  honored.” (CEV)

In Matthew 19:16-22, we can read an account of a rich young ruler who came to Jesus and asked the Rabbi how to achieve pure goodness.  “Good Teacher, what good thing can I do to earn eternal life?”  Jesus responded to the man with a rebuke. “Why do you call me good?” He asked. “There is only One who is good, and that is God.”

What a surprise!  What could Jesus have meant by saying that only One is good? Did He really mean to say that He was not good, because only God is good and He is not God?

No. I believe Jesus was making a point to the ruler and to his followers, and anyone else who would listen to His response:  No man can be good.  That word is designated to God alone.  If the rich man wasn’t willing to proclaim Jesus as God’s own son, “God-as-man”, then he had no right to call Jesus good.  Because no one is good but God.

But notice the rest of Jesus’s conversation with the young man. Jesus tells him to keep the commandments, but the man questions Him more.  “I’ve kept the laws since I was a child.  What else can I do?”

The man isn’t content to hear what good he can do by following the laws.  He wants to go the extra mile; he wants to know something he’s not already doing.  So Jesus gives him the answer. “If you want to be perfect, then sell everything you own.  Give the money to the poor, and come follow me. Your reward will be in heaven.” With that, the rich man went away sad.  He wasn’t ready to give up his life.  To him, that was an impossible thing to ask.

We’re like the rich young ruler. We have friends and family; we have obligations that must be met.  It’s not as simple as selling everything you own and giving the money to the poor. That’s too much to ask for, isn’t it?

I’m not perfect.  You’re not perfect either. Neither of us will ever be able to be good like God is good. But if we keep reading into the next part of the story, found in Matthew 19:23-30, we can see that we are not expected to be perfect.

“It’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” Jesus tells this fact to his disciples twice, as if they didn’t hear Him the first time.  And maybe they didn’t, because when they heard it, they were astonished!  “But then who can be saved?” If a rich young ruler who honored Jesus enough to call him ‘Good Teacher’ and inquire about eternal life couldn’t enter the kingdom of heaven, then who could possibly be good enough?

Jesus reassures them with a simple truth: “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”  The ruler wasn’t expected to be perfect.  The answer to his first question, “what can I do to earn eternal life?” was simply to keep the laws: do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal or lie, honor your parents, and love your neighbor as yourself. The man was seeking the impossible. He wanted to be perfect.

Coincidentally, the parable of workers in the vineyard is the very next chapter (Matthew 20:1-16):

“For the kingdom of heaven is like the owner of an estate who went out in the morning along with the dawn to hire workmen for his vineyard. After agreeing with the laborers for a denarius a day, he sent them into his vineyard. And going out about the third hour (nine o’clock), he saw others standing idle in the marketplace; And he said to them, You go also into the vineyard, and whatever is right I will pay you. And they went. He went out again about the sixth hour (noon), and the ninth hour (three o’clock) he did the same. And about the eleventh hour (five o’clock) he went out and found still others standing around, and said to them, Why do you stand here idle all day? They answered him, Because nobody has hired us. He told them, You go out into the vineyard also and you will get whatever is just and fair.” (AMPC)

The story ends with the owner of the estate giving a denarius to all of his workers, whether they were hired at dawn or at five o’clock. The workers who harvested the most grapes received the same amount as the workers who harvested the least amount of grapes.  To the owner who was paying the workers, he could see that the work of ALL the workers was good.

Let’s go back to John 15. Jesus tells his disciples that He is the vine and His followers are all branches. We need to recognize that while we are not perfect, Jesus is. And He is the vine which gives us –his branches- life.  It’s through Him that we produce the fruits of goodness.  It’s only God the Gardener who can create goodness, the same way that he did in Genesis 1, while he was creating the heavens and the earth.  Each day that passed in the beginning, He saw that all He had created was good.

If we take God out of our lives, then we will not produce goodness for any occasion. We will only be like the wild bitter grapes with tough skins and seeds. Or worse- barren and with no grapes at all!

Micah 7:1-2 (GNT) “It’s hopeless! I am a hungry person who finds no fruit left on the trees and no grapes on the vines. All the grapes and all the tasty figs have been picked. There is not an honest person left in the land, no one loyal to God. Everyone is waiting for a chance to commit murder. Everyone hunts down their own people.”

Isaiah 5:3-7 (VOICE) “Eternal One: That’s it. Enough. Now, you who live in My special city, Jerusalem, you people of this choice country, Judah, Who’s in the right—Me or My vineyard? What else could I possibly have done to make it flourish? Why, when I had every reason to expect great beauty and bushels of grapes, did it yield only wild, bitter fruit? I’ll tell you what I’m going to do, what I’ve determined to do to My vineyard: I’m going to take away its protective fence and let the deer, raccoons, and rabbits devour it. I’ll break down its wall, let the vines be eaten and trampled. I will set it up for destruction— do no pruning, no tilling— And it will be overrun with nasty briars and thornbushes. I will even order the clouds not to water it. See here, the vineyard of the Eternal, the Commander of heavenly armies, is the house of Israel, His special people. And the shoots and buds He nursed so lovingly along are the people of this choice country, Judah. He expected a paragon of justice and righteousness— but everywhere injustice runs bloodred in the streets, and cries echo in the city!”

To cultivate goodness in our lives, we can start by reading Philippians 4:8 and applying it to the way we act.

“In conclusion, my friends, fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable.”

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“Didja’ ever get…

…one of them days?” Any time my good mood can carry through on a bad day, my mind quotes a song from one of my favorites movies growing up: G. I. Blues.  Even now as an adult, sometimes I think back to the movie to help me lighten the jw-keydriveemotions of a bad day.

Last week was full of “them days”. When nothing goes right, from morning to night…. Take last Friday, for instance. We discovered that the work we had done last week had all been lost. The culprit: the keydrive I got Lacy for her birthday.

Our computers always have an ominous foreboding air about them.  Sometimes I threaten to throw the computer out the window because of how fed up I am by it. For years now, they have had problems that slow down our work flow.  We kid that they work against us every chance they get. For instance, there are some days when 12 times a day our painter program bugs up and closes out. If we don’t save often, then we have to start over. At other times the pen for our drawing monitor stops working and we have to leave it plugged in to recharge for days before it starts working again. A few rare instances even results in the dreaded “file is corrupt” error, or at the least, half of the picture fries into a green and blue mess of lines that we simply cannot use.

But this past Friday was a pivotal moment for ‘them days’. It rivaled the time we tried to merge Google+ accounts into one account and lost all of our Youtube videos in the process; or the time my computer was smitten with a virus that locked me out of the computer; or the time we invested time and money into a patent, researching for weeks to fill out all the right forms needed, just to receive a letter back saying that the forms we sent in were out of date and we needed to pay an extra fee to get help from the patent attorneys that they could offer services from.

So, back to Friday, opening the keydrive that all of our Jabber Worthy files are saved to, I was looking for the day’s work to get started on when I suddenly realized that my “Pirates” folder was completely empty.  Upon further investigation I realized that the “Treasure” folder had been emptied as well.  I asked Lacy if she had done anything to the files, and she grew concerned as she told me to check the files she had been working on the day before.  To our horror, the “Crew” folder with all of Lacy’s work was completely inaccessible.  The entire folder was completely ruined, losing all the files that had been saved inside them! When I tried to recopy our older backup files to start anew,  I discovered the problem was deeper than just an empty folder or corrupt file…multiple folders couldn’t be moved because they had been corrupted.

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Usually we’re pretty level-headed and can work against the tide, but this setback was a wrench in our gears; we struggled to know how to proceed forward.  Do we give up?  Call it quits? Go back to the other projects we’ve been putting off for Jabber Worthy? Or do we keep trudging forward, slowly, surely, fighting against the computer crashes that keep threatening to ruin our business?  For now we’ll try, try again.  But seriously…

Didja’ Ever?

 

Kindness is a Pear

Have you ever taken a bite out of a pear and held the sweet, soft taste on your tongue? Of course, dozens of pear types bless the world around, all different: in the USA and Europe, a pear may look red and feel soft on the tongue, while in Asia, a round golden pear has a gritty outside skin with a crunchy, less juicy flesh. Amidst all the differences, though, pears always classify as pyrus species from the Rosaceae family. It’s incredible.

Kindness is like pears in the same way: every person has a unique way of showing kindness, and each kind deed can be done in different settings, for different occasions, yet it’s always the same class of spiritual fruit. No matter how different kindness looks on the outside, it can still be called kindness. Just like pears,  it’s always sweet and nice, no matter what. God loves when people are kind, and he is kind to them in return.

Witness the simultaneous balance of the kindness and severity of our God. Severity is directed at the fallen branches withering without faith. Yet kindness is directed at you. So live in the kindness of God or else prepare to be cut off yourselves.” Romans 11:22 (VOICE)

3 examples of kindness:

  1. Antonin always comes home from school hungry, so his mom started making a healthy snack for him, to keep him from being uncomfortable.
  2. Flossie, a lady who owns a ranch, knows how much her new friend Lucia likes horses, so she invites her over one weekend to ride the friendliest American Quarter Horse, Birch.
  3.  The owner of a corner store notices his young customer is short a dollar for the spicy chips he picked out. The customer’s about to go put it back on the shelf when the owner says, “Go on… keep it.” No explanations why he let the guy keep the chips, but the customer goes away happy.

Everyone will show kindness in their own ways. That’s why it is valuable for us to accept each other, each person as he or she is, to truly appreciate a kind act when it is done. For example, imagine a wife asks a husband to build a front porch on their home, so that the steps come out away from the door, and a sitting area is available for guests; the husband is glad to do it, but it doesn’t look the way she wanted it to. Sure, she may be frustrated at him because he did it wrong, and complain about the flaws for days, but that doesn’t make his act any less kind.

Let’s go a little further into the pear analogy before we conclude. You know how when a pear isn’t quite ripe enough, and you try to eat it, it’s hard to bite? Well, sometimes God gives us the chance of a lifetime, to do an act of extreme kindness, something that is (like an unripe pear) hard to bite into. An act of extreme kindness will always be life-changing, either for yourself or another, and it may also require self-sacrifice.

The three examples mentioned above are kindness, but they are not really toilsome in nature. It can be fun to be a good friend or pay for someone’s chips, because you usually get to see a person smile or feel good about what you did, and that makes it “worth it” in your mind. With extreme kindness, however, nothing is gained from what you did, or perhaps you will not be able to see the person’s reaction, or even the person may not want it, but it will undoubtedly help that person.

The Bible is an effective source for examples of extreme kindness. Here are 5:

  1. In 1 Samuel chapter 24, David had a chance to kill Saul, his pursuer, in the Rocks of the Wild Goats. Saul was plotting to kill him, chasing after him with a deep vengeance, yet David did nothing more than cut his cloak while he was vulnerable (unable to fight back), and he even felt sorry for doing that! David’s extreme act of kindness was life-changing for Saul and completely at his own expense. Saul didn’t want it, he didn’t ask for it, but afterwards, he was blessed.
  2. In Genesis 13, Abraham bestowed kindness on his nephew Lot when he gave him the choice of land in front of them, as they both decided to part ways, since their herds were getting too large to continue intermingling. The kindness was extreme because Lot decided to choose the lush, fertile land for himself, leaving Abraham with the drier, less convenient spot.
  3. In Luke 21, we see a touching incident where Jesus looks up and sees a poor woman putting two small coins into the tithing box. She was being extremely kind to give all that she had – in the Scripture it says she literally gave “what she needed for her own living.” In this case, the house of God could have said “Who cares?” since she gave very little in proportion to the richer folk… but Jesus recognized her worth.
  4. In Acts 9, a Christian man named Ananias was directed, by a dream from God, to go meet Saul (not the same man from David story) in order to help recover his health and learn more about the gospel. Ananias was scared to death. Saul was famous for killing Christians like himself! However, he trusted God and helped Saul, despite his personal safety, proving his kindness.
  5. We cannot ignore the ultimate gift of kindness Jesus Christ did for us all by dying on the cross. He didn’t want to do it, but he did because it was right, and because he was born for that very reason. You can read about his days on the cross in whichever gospel: Matthew 27, Mark 14-15, and Luke 23.

“But God, the One Who saves, showed how kind He was and how He loved us by saving us from the punishment of sin. It was not because we worked to be right with God. It was because of His loving-kindness that He washed our sins away. At the same time He gave us new life when the Holy Spirit came into our lives.  God gave the Holy Spirit to fill our lives through Jesus Christ, the One Who saves.  Because of this, we are made right with God by His loving-favor. Now we can have life that lasts forever as He has promised.” Titus 3:4-7 (NLV)

As Christians, God does not always require extreme kindness. Most days, making our friends and family smile is enough. But if in your life you feel a dire need to show kindness, like, there’s something you must do that only you can do, and the Spirit urges you to act, probably for someone else’s safety or their salvation, be comforted as you decide whether to do it; if you choose yes, God will forever remember you; He will thank and reward you personally when you come into heaven, and on that day, so glorious and bright, the heavenly hosts will be overflowing with kindness, and the God-of-Angel-armies will celebrate with you; on that day, you will understand the meaning of all the kind acts you did, both soft and hard, casual and extreme – let that be the reason to choose yes!

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Gentleness is a Peach

If you’ve ever held a newborn baby, then you know the gentleness you must have with the child: the baby, tenderly in your arms; you being its strength as the head bobs, trying to lift to look around and take in all the new sights and sounds…

Showing gentleness: no matter how strong you are, you hold back your strength when you think about helping the other person. When helping a friend out of a car, you don’t yank on her arm to pull her out, you take her hand and lift her up.  When you’re not using all your strength, you are showing gentleness.

Jesus shows us many examples of being gentle. When Peter wished to walk on water in Matthew 14:22-33, focusing on Jesus’ gentle nature made it possible to do so. But once he noticed the angry storm around him, he fell and Jesus had to pull him back into the boat.

Of course, we as Christians will never be so shining an example of gentleness as our Lord Jesus Christ, but we have many other examples that we can aspire to. We can read how Jesus treated a leper, who was shunned by society, with gentleness.  “And behold, a leper came and worshiped Him, saying, “Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean.” Then Jesus put out His hand and touched him, saying, “I am willing, be cleansed.” Immediately his leprosy was cleansed.”  (Matthew 8:2, 3, NKJV) Jesus reached out and touched the leper. People feared to stand beside this man, much less have any physical contact with him.  But Jesus wasn’t afraid to give the man personal attention and a gentle touch.

Another example can be found in Mark 14.  People were plotting to kill Jesus. He knew that the time of His death was nearing, and no doubt felt anxious about what was coming. But He was sitting with His disciples when a woman came to Him. She had a very expensive jar of oil, and she poured the oil onto Jesus’s head.  When the disciples saw what was happening, they were offended.  “ ‘Why was this fragrant oil wasted? For it might have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor.’ And they criticized her sharply.

“But Jesus said, ‘Let her alone.  Why do you trouble her? She has done a good work for Me. For you have the poor with you always, and whenever you wish you may do them good; but Me you do not have always. She has done what she could. She has come beforehand to anoint My body for burial. Assuredly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be told as a memorial to her.” (Mark 14:4-9, NKJV) Jesus treated the woman with gentleness.  His friends criticized her, their words were possibly sharp daggers to her spirit.  But Jesus defended her, and He even held her humble act as something that would forever be remembered beside His death and resurrection.

In Luke 18: 15-17, Jesus shows gentleness with children. “Then they also brought infants to Him that He might touch them; but when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to Him and said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.” (NKJV) He welcomed the little children come to him, and he enjoyed their presence. His disciples thought he needed to be doing God’s work with healing the sick and forgiving sinners, but they were rebuked for such a thought.  In God’s eyes, little children are always welcome.

Another example is in John 8.  Jesus and his disciples see a beggar, a man who has been blind from birth.  Jesus tells his disciples that this man isn’t blind because of sin, but to be an example of God’s works.  “When He had said these things, He spat on the ground and made clay with the saliva; and He anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay.  And he said to him, ‘Go, wash in the pool of Siloam’ (which is translated, Sent). So he went and washed, and came back seeing.” (John 9:6, 7, NKJV) This was a man who was blind all his life; he might have felt human touch when someone guided him from one place to the next, or when they helped him down into his place to beg on the streets. But Jesus’ touch was gentle. He took extra care to anoint the man’s eyes.

The story of gentleness doesn’t end there. Later in the chapter we can read that the Pharisees question the man, interrogating him to find out what happened.  When the Pharisees were finished with him, they cast him out of their presence as if he was no good to them; in their minds, he was trash to be tossed aside.  But… Jesus heard that they had cast him out; and when He had found him, He said to him, ‘Do you believe in the Son of God?’

“He answered and said, ‘Who is He, Lord, that I may believe in Him?’

“And Jesus said to him, ‘You have both seen Him and it is He who is talking with you.’

Then he said, ‘Lord, I believe!’ And he worshiped Him.” (John 9:35-38, NKJV)

Jesus searches for those who are cast out and rejected, and He offers them a place to be accepted into.

In Ephesians 4:1-6, Paul tells us to be gentle in nature as Jesus was: “…I beg you to live the way God’s people should live, because he chose you to be his. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient and accept each other with love. You are joined together with peace through the Spirit. Do all you can to continue as you are, letting peace hold you together. There is one body and one Spirit, and God chose you to have one hope. There is one Lord, one faith, and one baptism. There is one God and Father of us all, who rules over everyone. He works through all of us and in all of us.”(ERV) And in Galatians 6:1 he tells us to be gentle to people who are in sin: “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any sin, you who are spiritual [that is, you who are responsive to the guidance of the Spirit] are to restore such a person in a spirit of gentleness [not with a sense of superiority or self-righteousness], keeping a watchful eye on yourself, so that you are not tempted as well.” (AMP)

The fruit of the Spirit, gentleness, is in many ways like a peach.   Whether the fruit has a firm and crisp inside or a soft and juicy one, the outer skin of the peach is fuzzy and fun to hold.  It’s got a gentle touch.

Not only does the peach have a gentle touch, but it’s got a soft flavor, too.  Sometimes, it’s hard to notice the taste’s softness when the peach has a crisp bite, but it’s still a quiet flavor that’s subtle and smooth.   Even when it’s too soft to eat, you can toss it in a blender with just 1/2 cup milk and 2 large scoops of vanilla ice cream and make a deliciously soft and smooth shake to enjoy.

Recipe for Gentleness:

  1. Give personal attention

  2. Use soft words

  3. Defend the poor in spirit

  4. Honor the humble

  5. Respect innocence

  6. Welcome little children

  7. Accept the outcasts

Gentleness comes in many ways. To each person we meet, we may have to serve a different kind of gentleness. And like the peach, not everyone will appreciate the gentleness you offer. Whether it’s giving someone personal attention, or speaking kindly in favor of a stranger, or holding a child in your lap or arms, or giving someone who feels sadness a listening ear, there will be people who consider your gentleness as weakness or foolishness. Even these intolerant people should be shown gentleness: hold no wrongs against them.  Instead, remember Peter, who wanted to walk on water to meet his Lord; and remember  Jesus’s response to him. “So He said, ‘Come.’ And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on water to go to Jesus.” (Matthew 14:29, NKJV)  If we can live like the examples we see from Jesus, then perhaps we, too, can lift someone up and help them find salvation through Him.

“Most of all, friends, always rejoice in the Lord! I never tire of saying it: Rejoice! Keep your gentle nature so that all people will know what it looks like to walk in His footsteps. The Lord is ever present with us. Don’t be anxious about things; instead, pray. Pray about everything. He longs to hear your requests, so talk to God about your needs and be thankful for what has come.” Philippians 4:4-6 (VOICE)

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The Crux at Paradise

INTRODUCTION

At one point or another, I’m pretty sure everybody wonders what being filthy rich feels like. I never believed my mom when she said “Big pockets belong to big liars”, but after spending a week at the Bahamas with the richest scamp on the planet, I think I’m a believer.

As if that’s not shocking enough, this “rich scamp”? He might just be the ghost of a ruthless pirate.

I’m not crazy! Bahamian legends foretell about all the murderous things pirates are capable of. I have lots of evidence to back up my theory.

My suspicions all started after sitting in a squeaky clean limousine…

 

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