Yesterday after supper, I was extra tired. My eyes were heavy. I didn’t want to go to bed, because I had things to do: write in my journal, exercise, take care of my dog, read the mail, along with other stuff.
Kat advised me, “Just lay down and close your eyes. You don’t have to go to sleep. But if you do, it’s ok. Just lay there and let yourself rest until I get back.” I knew she’d be gone for about 30 minutes. She also revealed to me, “Laying there without doing anything helps me. You can listen to music… but don’t do anything else. After that, you’ll be ready to go on doing what you have to do.”
So I tried it. Getting under my blanket to take the chill away, I stretched my legs out until my toes were nearly emerged. A sigh filled my lungs, and wonderment filled my thoughts about whether I really would feel rested afterwards.
As I peered into the darkness of my eyelids, and let the music fill my ears, the music started fading from my mind when I began to visualize a scene. In the scene, there was me standing there; now normally I don’t picture my own self; I’m always picturing fictional characters or other people I never have met, but this time, it was plain me.
Golden rays of light shone from the sky as I stood, taking a few steps forward in a field of champagne-colored grass. The grass rustled gently, but I didn’t hear it, I only felt the wind in the form of calmness, peace, and joy which surrounded me, and the rays provided warmth all around. On my face was a smile, and in my eyes was a mission I knew I had, as I peered over the field at something. There was a quiet confidence and an assurance I could get it done. In my hand was my mission: I carefully held it, and I was ready to use it.
I couldn’t make out what was in my hand. In my thoughts, there were questions: What am I doing? Why am I standing there? What is it I am accomplishing?
I tried to control the visual. Zoom out. Try to see what’s on the other side of the field. Figure out what you’re holding. The end of a violin suddenly came into view, but I stopped imagining that when confusion arose. I can’t play the violin! Why would I be holding a violin? …That’s crazy…
But I wanted to keep seeing more, so I begin to brainstorm what my mission was, what I should do, and what God might expect from me. As soon as I began to think about the projects that swamp my life and the issues like money and relationships, the peace left me and the visualization blinked out almost like it was interrupted by white noise or a faulty satellite dish. It was gone because I let my human concerns interrupt it.
I saw no more of it before Kat got back, and we began talking. However, later, the Bible interpreted for me. When going to the Bible app on a mobile device, you can find a ‘Verse of the Day’ at the Dashboard or Home screen; in this case, I went to Bible Gateway and the verse of the day surprised me with its relevance:
“Yes, our natural lives will fade as grass does when it becomes brown and dry. All our greatness is like a flower that droops and falls; but the Word of the Lord will last forever.”
It took me off guard for the verse to be about grass because that’s what I saw! Grass – yes it was brown, but glorious and golden! Not brown and dying. I should be encouraged by your Word, Lord, but instead it makes me sad to think my aspirations, and my dreams will die and fade. This makes me sad, not happy. I’m sorry. I know your Word is what lasts, not my projects or what I want to do.
I left the app and went to other things, talking to Kat, getting sidetracked, but then I wanted to tell her about the oddity of my vision, if that’s what I can call it, and the oddity of the Bible verse, so I went back to the app and the Dashboard had a glitch. Oh man, I scolded myself, why didn’t you just write down the verse when you first saw it? Now it won’t come back. But then I realized, the rest of the app was working, so why not do a search? I searched “brown grass” and it took me to the exact verse I had read. This time I read the whole context, and it was in the context I got the positive message, the interpretation.
”For you have a new life. It was not passed on to you from your parents, for the life they gave you will fade away. This new one will last forever, for it comes from Christ, God’s ever-living Message to men. Yes, our natural lives will fade as grass does when it becomes all brown and dry. All our greatness is like a flower that droops and falls; but the Word of the Lord will last forever. And his message is the Good News that was preached to you.
“So get rid of your feelings of hatred. Don’t just pretend to be good! Be done with dishonesty and jealousy and talking about others behind their backs. Now that you realize how kind the Lord has been to you, put away all evil, deception, envy, and fraud. Long to grow up into the fullness of your salvation; cry for this as a baby cries for his milk.
”Come to Christ, who is the living Foundation of Rock upon which God builds; though men have spurned him, he is very precious to God who has chosen him above all others.
”And now you have become living building-stones for God’s use in building his house. What’s more, you are his holy priests; so come to him—you who are acceptable to him because of Jesus Christ —and offer to God those things that please him. As the Scriptures express it, ‘See, I am sending Christ to be the carefully chosen, precious Cornerstone of my church, and I will never disappoint those who trust in him.’
”Yes, he is very precious to you who believe; and to those who reject him, well—‘The same Stone that was rejected by the builders has become the Cornerstone, the most honored and important part of the building.’ And the Scriptures also say, ‘He is the Stone that some will stumble over, and the Rock that will make them fall.’ They will stumble because they will not listen to God’s Word nor obey it, and so this punishment must follow—that they will fall.
”But you are not like that, for you have been chosen by God himself—you are priests of the King, you are holy and pure, you are God’s very own—all this so that you may show to others how God called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were less than nothing; now you are God’s own. Once you knew very little of God’s kindness; now your very lives have been changed by it.”
1 Peter 1:23-25, 2:1-10
I can assume, God probably had my Bible app glitch up so I wouldn’t be able to get depressed! It forced me to read Peter’s true message from God, which was that I am the Lord’s “holy priest”, as Peter says, called to build his church in which Christ is the foundation.
I also did a quick Google search on the symbolic meaning of the violin, and some consider it to be the symbol of Heaven, angelic being, serenity, calmness, and majesty. Here’s how I interpret what I saw:
The field of grass symbolizes the temporary life, and those living in it. The rays of light symbolize heaven, where God is, and it shines on the grass, where I stand. My mission is to play Heaven’s song -the violin was an instrument of Heaven- so that light will shine on the grass and it can live gloriously, eternally. Finally, God’s peace and spirit surrounded me, like the wind.
You want to know what added to the mystery? Let me add to the story:
Today, I was telling my mom about the scene I envisioned. Her face lit up. “What’s funny is, I had a dream this morning that I woke up from, that sounds a lot like what you described.” I’d told her about how I couldn’t “zoom out” and see what was beyond the field of grass. Anytime I tried to, the vision was halted.
“My dream had a field of grass, too!” she said excitedly. “I was standing in a field and was looking out over it, and saw three elderly people. One was a woman who had a cane, but she was running towards the other two men, like she didn’t need it. One of the men helped her into the light, and the other man was standing there, waiting to greet her. I tried to squint and see who they were, and then it zoomed up, like you’re saying yours couldn’t do! Mine could. I zoomed up and tried to look harder to see who it was.”
She realized, in her dream, the elderly woman was going from this life into the next, and she was being greeted by her loved ones who’d already passed on. “But there was the field of grass and the light in my dream,” she said. “Just like you described.” After she told me that, I proceeded to read to her 1 Peter (the passage above), and we were all inspired by how the dream, my vision, and Scripture were connected to each other.
I believe the take-away message we can get from this experience is that our mission as Christians is to become the building-stones for God’s family. Life here on earth is temporary. We should keep our minds set above, less on our projects and our careers, and more on how to bring others into God’s glorious light.
At least, in my case, God was telling me that I should focus less on my personal success, or how many sales I’ll get, or whether I’ll finish a project, and instead, I need to make Heaven my goal. If I am not playing Heaven’s song, if my project is not to advance God’s Kingdom, then my influence will be temporary and fade, or maybe God will even let my goals fizzle and be stopped like my vision was, when I got distracted with my human reasons.
For example, the many Christian writings I have done, here on my blog along the way, I have done for the sole purpose of helping others know the Lord Jesus. My writings have never been stopped, and inspiration has always flowed. But the instant I try to make money the goal, or I try to make impressing people the goal, my creations are stalled, halted, or quit by some circumstance.
All in all, there is nothing depressing about letting God’s message get out. Your brain can tell you that you don’t want to focus your time on Bible things or Christian affairs, instead you want to get out and make a splash! Experience the world without reserve. But as I am learning, the only way to have an eternal impact and earn an eternal reward is to take up the cross, become a building-block, and play Heaven’s song.